The Semi-Great Escape II, Back 2 Nature
If you are a regular reader of this space, you probably recall that during Easter vacation of 2002, my cousins, my brother, and I traveled to the vast, unexplored wilderness of the Sierra National Forest, specifically, Pine Flat Lake.
This year, my cousin Ethan didn't have his break at the same time as the rest of us, so he didn't come down from Oregon. Also, my cousin Scott was spending all his time building a giant roulette wheel for the Design Village at CalPoly. That left my brother Dave, my cousins Mark and Matt, and me. Always looking to try new things, we decided to go back to Pine Flat.
In order to have the fun experience of driving before the sun was up, we left a little before 6:00 am.
Of course, when traveling in the wilderness, it is always important to be amply prepared. Here, you can see approximately $50.00 worth of junk food. From left:
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a bag from "Big Lots!" containing Oreos, Butterfingers, and something else I can't remember
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a green double-bladed lightsaber
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a bag from "Savemart" containing Doritos (Cooler Ranch and Nacho Cheese)
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a plastic mace
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a can of raisins
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a can of honey-roasted peanuts
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a bag containing wafer cookies and some other stuff
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peanut-butter pretzels
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an ice chest full of drinks, apples, and a brick of smoky sharp cheddar cheese
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a bag of something
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a wooden staff/broom handle
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the camcorder bag
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a box of Big Cheez-Its
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and a bag of Munchies snack mix (I think)
Not shown are two packages of Fig Newton's (Original and Cherry Cheesecake), a package of ranger cookies from the "Savemart" bakery, a bag of "Bayview" and "Cowabunga" snack pies, a box of Ritz crackers, and two plastic swords (sabers, actually).
We drove and drove and drove. The sun slowly came up. I have a few photos from this period, but they're boring. After reaching Pine Flat, we stopped at the spot where we had our adventure last time. We hiked back along the washed out road and found the package of old hotdogs that was there last year. They didn't look any different. On the way out, my cousin Mark accidentally stepped in the creek. (I had the foresight to wear waterproof hiking boots.) We tied his socks onto the roof of the car to dry and left.
We continued on, deeper into the heart of danger. We passed the second bridge, which crosses Big Creek and is the turn-off for Haslett Basin.
Somewhere in here we stopped at a turn-off by a creek that flowed down the hillside and under the road. This may have been Sacate Creek, or possibly Lower Rancheria Creek. The creek looked interesting, with water cascading off smooth granite rocks, so we decided to check it out. Mark stayed in the car (we later learned that he was changing his pants), while Dave, Matt, and I climbed down to the culvert under the road. There was only a little bit of water flowing through the pipe, and there were foot-holds on the walls above the water, so we decided to walk through the culvert. Matt slipped and fell into the water. Twice. He said it was very cold. So we climbed out, avoiding the copious groves of poison oak. Matt tied his socks on the roof with Mark's and we drove on.
Pine Flat Lake narrowed into the Kings River. We stopped at the Kings Powerhouse to stretch our legs, and to give Matt a chance to change his pants. It was still only about 9:00 am. The sun was up, and the sky was clear. Of course, the other side of the Kings, the side that is unreachable except by backpacking, looked more interesting than the side we were on. This feeling continued the entire time we were driving along the Lake and the River, up until the road crosses the Kings; this may have something to do with the fact that the south side of the lake and river is essentially inaccessible, and thus more "rugged".
We crossed the third bridge, which crosses the Kings River and marks the turn-off for one of the river-rafting company's camps. Undeterred by the increasing signs of civilization (the rafters have to park somewhere), we carried on. Finally, we came to the first fork in the Kings River, where it splits into the North Fork Kings and the (just plain) Kings. (In case you're wondering, the Just Plain Kings isn't called the South Fork because it later splits into the Middle Fork and the South Fork.) There is a metal bridge, shortly after the split, which crosses the (just plain) Kings River and allows the road to follow the North Fork. There are two dirt roads that follow the (just plain) Kings River from this bridge, one on either side.
This is the view on the south side of the Kings River, before crossing the bridge, looking back down the road toward the lake.
This is the bridge, again viewed from the south side of the Kings. The paved road goes left on the other side of the bridge, back down to the fork and then follows the North Fork Kings. The bus is owned by one of the rafting companies. The bus is actually backing across the bridge. The dirt road on the north side of the Kings River is on the right side of the bridge; I guess the bus can't make that right turn.
Since the river-rafters had claimed the north road, we took the dirt road on the south side of the Kings. This was a very narrow, very rocky road. Every time we saw a good "spot" we also saw that someone else was already there, so we kept driving. We passed several campgrounds, a Forest Service rental cabin, and a tiny parcel of private property, well marked with "NO TRESPASSING" signs. We forded a small creek, which sounds exciting but wasn't. We drove until we found a turn-off with no other cars. The road after this point stops following the river, though I don't know if that is a temporary detour, or a real change of direction.
And here we are. The turn-off was pretty large, although we later recognized this as a bad omen. There was a dirt road leading down from the turn-off to the river.
Peaceful and idyllic.
Serene.
After taking a short snack break, we decided to hike down to the river. The dirt road had evidently never been maintained, as evidenced by the two-foot-deep gulleys cutting across it. Along the way, we encountered this:
(Be sure to click on the picture to view it full size.) This is exactly what you think it is. My cousin Matt had walked ahead of the rest of us and discovered this marvelous example of bovine productivity. Everything was fine until he started poking it. These things evidently have some kind of odor-based defense mechanism that kicks in when they are threatened. In Matt's own words, "Hey, look at this! Ugh, it's fresh! Ewww, nasty!" (Actually, I think this might be a different cow pie.)
We reached the river and found it flowing over some rocks into a pool.
We though this would be the perfect place to film some of our upcoming epic motion picture, "The Seventeen-and-a-Half Really Tall Things" (which follows "The Homeboys of the Ring" in our epic motion picture trilogy). Some of us went back up to the car to get the stuff. That's when it happened.
A pack of beer-swilling, Camel-smoking, wife-beating, pig-stealing, Welfare-cheating, no-good, Hickville white-trailer-park-trash fishermen descended on us, like barbarians. "You-ah boyahs ah gonna hef to git outta he'ah," they told us. There was only one honorable choice. We struck first. A fierce battle ensued; although we were outnumbered almost four to one, they had foolishly neglected to arm themselves with plastic medieval weapons, as we had. The fight was long and hard, but we four valiant companions fought without ceasing, side by side. Finally, the cowardly invaders, wounded by many a harsh blow, knelt down and begged us for mercy. We left them to lick their wounds, and returned to our car.
Unfortunately, we were too busy dealing out justice to take any photos, so you'll have to be satisfied with this artist's rendering.
Here we are, back in our car, leaving the carnage. Notice the socks tied to the luggage rack.
We drove back to the paved road; about an hour's drive. We headed back down the mountain. Along the way, we stopped to rest at the bridge over Big Creek. We stopped on the east side, not the side with the dirt road. I got out and hiked around.
At last, someplace interesting without any people. We stayed here for a while, and then went home.
In closing, I'd like to say a few words to the other drivers we saw on the road up there. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Thank you.